Kate Scott Writes: Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Last night, I had another adoption training class. I missed a class a couple weeks ago and had to make it up last night, so I have two classes this week. These classes are all emotionally intense, so this is going to shape up to be a brutal week. Last night's class was my favorite one so far though. The topic was "Minimizing the Trauma of?Separation".

Every class spends quite a bit of time talking about the various reasons children end up in foster care. So we spent the first hour talking about the always fun topic of domestic violence. It turns out, most children that witness domestic violence experience the long term effects of PTSD, often for many years after they're removed from the dangerous?environment? Even when kids aren't the victims of physical abuse, being in an abusive home has the same effect on children as combat has on war?veterans.

Talking about toddlers with post?traumatic?stress disorder is a little less gut wrenching than talking about sexual abuse, but still emotional. Fortunately, the other two hours of last night's three hour class focused on what happens to these kids after they come into alternative care. We talked a lot about how to build trust and the instructor even gave a lot of useful tips about how to make the first 24 hours as stress-free as possible for the child.

I'm really not that worried about adopting a foster child in the long term. I've been around enough kids to feel confident in my abilities as a parent. But the first 24 hours are going to be hard no matter what. So last night's class was really useful. Because when a child already has PTSD and every single thing they know (the good along with the bad) is ripped away from them, a new home isn't going to feel safe, it's going to feel scary.

Fortunately, the adoptive process has a slightly longer?transition?period than fostering. Our kids wont move in with us the first time we meet. We'll get to meet them several times while they are still in their foster home before they move in, so all the super scary stuff won't have to happen at exactly the same time.

Still the instructor reminded us many times that the transition from foster home to adoptive home is often even harder for kids than from their biological home to their foster home. If a foster home is the very first place a child ever felt safe, being removed from that home and moved into a new unknown?environment?can trigger all the old fears and anxieties.

Even though I always leave these classes feeling wrung out and beaten, they only strengthen my resolve to adopt. The kids in foster care waiting for adoption need a safe and loving place to call home. Knowing I can be part of that family for one or two of these kids gives me a lot of hope. The first 24 hours are going to be hard though, even if I do have a few new tricks up my sleeve.

Source: http://www.katescottwrites.com/2013/02/ch-ch-ch-changes.html

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